Living to Walk...

ROM 3:22-24  This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus

By what Grace are we allowed to continue to sin and continue to wreak havoc upon each other?  We live in spite of His mission and yet he still loves us?  Why?  Do not get me wrong, I am grateful for the sacrifice of the Son so that I may one day be united with my brothers and sisters before my Lord and Savior.

Today I felt called to begin anew in my walk with Jesus Christ.  I have been a follower, with limited understanding but much desire, for my entire life.  I was fortunate enough to be born into a family that can only be described as loving.  To me, my family has been a great beacon of hope and love for me and I can never repay them for the doors they have opened for me.  Growing up, I had no wants or needs unfulfilled.  This is not to say that I was born with excessive wealth, but I was born into certain excess.  I was born into an excess of love and affection and this fact has surely molded me into the "guy" I am today.

My present situation is this: I am a Believer.  I pray, however occasionally, and I truly believe that I have the ear of the Lord when I do so.  I do not have a problem believing that there is a God and that He sent His only begotten Son to die on the cross for the sins of my brothers and sisters...and all of mine as well.  This is perhaps one of the hardest things for me to realize and confess because despite my belief, I continue to sin; sins of which even my loving family remain unaware (sorry family, but know that I am praying about them and know that I am convicted each day to try and rid myself of my blackness).  I know that I am born under His blood and that should I ask for forgiveness that I will be forgiven for my God is truly just and merciful.  Often tearful and full of pain I cry out and confess my sins.  I wake up and feel rejuvenated, I feel convicted...until I find myself with an opportunity to sin or choose the Right what.  More often than not, I continue to KNOWINGLY sin and take His Grace for granted.  I live in constant recognition that I am sinner who has chosen sin and that I am sinner who will continue to sin.  I will, however, continue to ask for forgiveness.  What is most difficult for me though is to live under the weight of my decisions.  I often feel like I am living a double life, a life outwardly calm and peaceful while inwardly a maelstrom of malfeasance brims up and fights to win my heart.  I know this maelstrom as the Enemy and I struggle to resist him everyday.



I am not exactly sure where I want to go with this blog.  I think I will most likely end up sharing my daily walk and will hope to update frequently.  It is my sincere hope that should you know scriptures that are relevant to what you are reading in this blog that you post them so everyone can have some biblical reference.  I am ashamed to say that despite my belief I have yet to read the Bible through and through.  During my time with this blog, I will also do my best to begin my deeper study and hope to post verses I find interesting or things that seem particularly relevant.  Also, feel free to comment on what you feel like...I understand that everyone may not agree with my beliefs or my presentation of them but I do ask that everyone try to be respectful and know that I am above all writing this to share with others in hopes that they will begin to understand that they are not alone in their own struggles.